Things that have been bringing me joy lately:
A delicious meal at Bridgette with my partner to celebrate getting engaged.
I am going to marry the love of my life, and I cannot wait to do so. He proposed while we were in São Paulo, and between being sick, stressed, and hosting family, it’s been impossible to have the energy to go and properly commemorate this cool thing.
He proposed at the Instituto Butantan, which started as a venom research center in the early 1900s to develop anti-venoms for Brazil’s many, many venomous snakes, scorpions, and even spiders. Now it’s a beautiful, lush research campus that also made Brazil’s Covid-19 vaccine and has lots of trees and noisy parrots and big spiders in the trees. It was my dream spot to be proposed to, meters away from all kinds of venomous beauties and Art Nouveau buildings.
Re-reading Priestdaddy, an excellent choice. You don’t have to be Catholic to howl with laughter.
This perfume I bought in Brazil and should have gotten multiple bottles of because this company doesn’t ship outside the country.
Tretinoin. I love science.
Scrubbing any surface that has hard water on it, a constant in Calgary- it’s been weirdly satisfying. Yesterday I scrubbed every inch of my bathtub multiple times.
Being able to re-watch The Knick, whose meticulous medical history research shines (even if it’s a lot all the time and I don’t find Clive Owens that charismatic, I feel like the charismatic, morally dubious rake vibe was very mid-2010s?).
This podcast on the Dark Tower series, Stephen King’s magnum opus.
I will be backpacking in Yellowstone National Park this fall and cannot wait to see the golden leaves and sleep outside, far from the teeming masses of tourists.
Beer (and books), always.
Things that have been difficult but necessary:
Reading Laura Bate’s book, “Men Who Hate Women”.
Over the last few years I finally came to the realization that the majority of men do not see women as human unless we’re their romantic partners, their moms, their sisters, or otherwise related. I try not to think about it too much, but the never-ending violence against women tracks.
Grappling with my eczema, something that comes up when The Stress is High. The meds I have suck to use, but they work, dammit.
Bad things:
A family friend is dying. Cancer is an ass. A story that never gets old, never hurts less. My dad was with him last week, helping him do some final things. He is one of those rare Tender, Gentle Dads that kids can sense immediately. I always felt safe and respected around him, and he made the best smoothies.
Loneliness in Calgary continues. Remote work compounds it.
The city itself is still hideous. I cannot wait for summer to head to the mountains.
Naturalia notes:
Spring is here, in the Rocky Mountain West way, where it’s 60 degrees one day and snowing the next. A few nights ago I laid awake and heard the sound of rain change as it turned into snow. The rain reminded me of Victoria. The snow reminded me that I’m here.
Calgary, oh Calgary. The other day my partner pointed out a dead pigeon, beautiful but clearly passed, in a dirt parking lot near the train tracks. In my loneliness and sadness, I instantly thought about how, instead of pigeon corpses, the birds I was used to this time of year were hummingbirds passing by our back porch. At least we’ve got magpies. I forgot how smart and sharp they are, and how cleverly they move, their wings and tails whooshing and flashing as they do the simplest things. They often scold me as I walk past, and I love how brassy and unafraid they are.
It’s spring, and so the hares are out too. I feel sorry for them. They are clearly not meant for city life, and I see them dodging cars, freezing in the roads, and bounding across the street, their long legs and big feet marking them for a place that historically had more snow and fewer skyscrapers. They’re beautiful, large, often ruffled looking, and it’s unsettling seeing them amidst metal, brick, concrete, and neon, their eyes and twitching noses too wild, a string still tied to Nature but somehow finding themselves here.
L saw a coyote near his workplace, and that makes sense. He works in a part of town that’s still an edge of something. It’s not quite the edge of Calgary, because Calgary at this point has tentacles flung far and wide, but it’s a grey area of sorts, where dirt lots and forgotten plots sit idly, tall scratchy yellow grasses stagnant year round. The train runs east from there, the Elbow river and Bow river nearby. Coyotes fit the bill in my mind. The Reddit posts for the city are full of photos of moose, bobcats, coyotes (“Is this a wolf?”) in suburban yards that were once prairie and forest, once self-reliant and self-sustaining symbiotic places.
I hope that this summer I have many more exciting critter reports for you (minus any moose or bear encounters), because I know that magpies and coyotes don’t fit anybody’s bill.
Before I leave you, one last note:
It’s the time of year where Montana non-profits are doing a good chunk of their fundraising. You may not be from Montana, but please consider donating to the Montana Abortion Access Program (MAAP). Why? Because of this map here:
See all the red and orange?
That means these states either have total bans or are heavily restricting access to abortion. Montana is literally an island in that sea. Montana clinics that provide abortion care (we have six in the state) are seeing a rapid influx of folks from out of state seeking help. MAAP saw their out of state funding request DOUBLE from 2021 to 2022. Please throw any spare cash you have their way, please. You’re helping people from all over the West access critical healthcare, while helping them afford gas, lodging, and other necessities while they’re traveling.
THANK YOU FRIENDS!
With that, I hope you have a beautiful weekend. Tell me about any wildflowers you’re seeing! What songs are you listening to on repeat? What books can’t you put down?